We've probably all lived with sadness. Some of us will continue to live with sadness. Underneath sadness is a world of anger waiting to come out.
Sadness is the undercurrent that characterises a lifetime of gloom, sorrow and depression. Behind our words are a great deal of heartache. Sadness if left unexpressed, will build and turn into anger, which if left turns into emotional strife.
Emotional strife will eventually escalate into something ugly that isn’t always easily retracted. Until we learn to control and deal with sadness and anger, none of it will stop.
Like an echo it reverberates far and as far again.
Yes, depression stems from unexpressed anger that boils beneath the surface. I have spent most of my life suppressing my anger about things that happened and/or didn't happen in my life.
The end result is that people assume that I have been so sad, but in reality I've had a volcano waiting to explode in me. It's a part of me that I don't like dealing with, since it involves feelings I don't like nor does anyone else. It's very hard not to be angry considering how much of my life has been wasted taking care of other people's problems and not doing what it is I wanted to do.
A lot of the sadness stems from thinking about what I could have done or been in my life, had I grown up with different parents. They were mentally just children in adult bodies who should have never had children together.
I would have rather never existed than have gone through what I did as a child. The next person who tells me that, 'they did the best they could with what they had,' is going to get blasted because I so hate hearing that.
The reality is that now I have to try to let go of all that rage and try to move on to truly live, in what time I have left!
Yes I couldn't agree more. I knew a lot more than I talked about as a child and lived a very sad and angry life.
You understand so much about your life Randy; about your parents. The hard part is understanding how to make the changes so that you come through the other end with total understanding, but without the sadness and anger.
We can and sometimes look back and wish things were different and although it helps to a certain extent, in the longer term I believe it's not helpful. What helpful is understanding we can't change things and finding an acceptance on our experiences.
I wish that for you Randy. I wish that for myself too.
I have a tendency to keep my anger quiet and my sadness confidential. Probably because I was raised in a culture that found it unacceptable for men to display certain emotions, as it was perceived as weakness and or vulnerability.
I guess my reluctance to break my oath of emotional secrecy is motivated by my fear of being betrayed and improperly judged. Sometimes it's bad idea to share your state of mind with the wrong person.
Thanks Tim. Yes I've had that too. It's definitely a culture thing you're right, but I'm not sure male or female makes much of a difference. I think most cultures go on to represent what you describe in your response. We're not encouraged to talk about our emotions.
I believe as we journey through life we will get to understand people more and in doing so, will know the people we can trust and the people we can't. Experience gives us that.
That said, of course there will those who get stuck because they're not always aware of how to judge who they can trust. I believe that once the right people are in our lives, we will be able to share our emotions with them and know they're one hundred percent trustworthy.
I find myself constantly struggling with these two emotions. When I am sad I usually want to keep to myself, maybe because I don't like receiving sympathy from people, or I am afraid of being judged. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me.
Unfortunately, when I am feeling angry, I am in a desperate state that I end up verbally hurting the people around me, then I totally regret it later.
I grew up with anger based around my own physical problems and what you describe is what I did also. I know how you feel Maria.
It's hard enough dealing with life and life's issues, never mind having to deal with a physical disability with very little understanding coming in from others. This isn't about you, it's about what you deal with. Although lashing out isn't always the right way to deal with sadness or anger, it's understandable why you do. It's a shame others don't try to at least come back in to try and help you.
You're clearly dealing with something you find difficult Maria. It's not rocket science. I know more understanding coming in from family would help how you handle what you deal with, so that you don't lash out.