My thoughts bring me on to a different path today, where I can see the bigger picture of my life, situations and issues that I’ve had to deal with.

I know which situations I can change; and which issues I need to change, but I also know that to change or walk away from a situation may bring with it more unease from those who aren't accepting of my decisions. It's not always easy to bring ourselves out of circumstances to a place that we know will bring us peace.

In an ideal world yes, but it's not how life goes, well it’s not how my life goes. But I believe that if we’re able to speak out and things still don’t work out, then it's right to call time. I also believe that we’re less likely to live with regret if we say something, but I appreciate that some circumstances are difficult, particularly for those of us who live with emotional or physical abuse.

Any situation that doesn't comply with how we want to live needs to change, but first we must see the need and want to change. Where we live with stress or abuse, we must be strong enough to deal with that and then think about change.

*If anyone deals with emotional or physical abuse it’s important to ask for help. *

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Seeing the need for change”

  1. I agree with you. In my first marriage I lived through mental abuse and I left several times but always came back, until the last time when my child was threatened, I decided that was it. I had to be sneaky about it but I got out.

    Occasionally I regret it but not a lot because there is no telling where I'd be now if I'd stayed.

    My ex died several years later of suicide and I felt so guilty for a long time, but finally figured out that there was no reason for me to feel guilty. It wasn't my fault.

  2. It is one thing to know you need to change something in life, it is another thing to make change happen. That is the hard part.

    I am in the process of doing that with my own life. I have a couple of things I want to change but with anything worth while I know it will take time and a lot of effort to do it.

    As long as a person feels like they are moving forward it will be okay.

    1. Yes you are right, making change happen is the hard part of anyone's life. As long as not only does a person feel they are moving forward but moving forward, you are right it will be okay.

      It so hard to change a pattern of behavior that we have lived with for years, but I believe it can be done. Thank you for posting.

    2. Lisa I totally agree with you it wasn't your fault your ex committed suicide. Your ex would have gone on to do it regardless of whether you were still with him. Those are the circumstances where you have no choice, the decision needs to be made and quickly.

      I believe though, any change is important to our physical and emotional health.

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