My earliest recollection of Sensory Awareness Issues, and how this manifested itself, was when we were on holiday and the first thing mum did for me, was look at the toilet in the bathroom.

I had no idea why I struggled with toilets particularly, or why the struggle was there. It irritates me to think for years I've struggled with and lived in ignorance around these issues and it's also another piece of the jigsaw I've had to fit.

I’ve also spent a lifetime being judged, in some circumstances others forgetting that I may present oddly, because to look at me you see very little wrong. I want to look at things normally without the distortions.

It's tiring having to explain myself all the time. We all need to have empathy, compassion and tolerance, but most of all we need to hear and have others understand what we deal with, without the judgments.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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6 comments on “Sensory Awareness Issues”

  1. Yes, I am sure it would have been very helpful to you if you had have known what your issues were, rather than have them pretty much ignored.

    It sounds like they were pretty glaringly obvious and yet they chose to act like nothing was wrong, which I think only makes things so much worse.

    It does become very tiring when you feel like you have to explain everything to people, when you do things differently than other people which has also been one of my many issues.

    People (like my girlfriend) so often seem to forget or fail to even comprehend that there were a lot of life skills that no one ever taught us, which is why I may end up doing things differently than others, seeing as I had to figure things out on my own.

    It would actually be fantastic if people actually took the time to try to understand and be more empathetic to others, rather than always label them as a 'freak' when they don't always do things the way others normally do.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, I agree. Where you say, 'it sounds like they were pretty glaringly obvious and yet they chose to act like nothing was wrong, which I think only makes things so much worse.'

      I see that now, and I am sure you see that, but as children we're not capable of seeing it. We expect our parents will have our back. I feel for you too.

      Given 'My Story' and my experiences, it's obvious that wasn't the case. Sadly, it came too late for me. I got there in the end though, so that's good.

      And I have a beautiful website that allows me to recall my experiences and get my feelings out there.

  2. Disability makes you see out when others cannot see in, but that's no excuse for the betrayal surrounding your disability. Elements of humanity can make you sick sometimes.

    But your resilience is something to behold.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, I didn't really see my disability or wasn't completely conscious aware of being able to see out in that way, until I began to make myself consciously aware.

      Sadly, we tend to rely too much on our unconscious thinking to think about what is beyond our four walls. With any disability our senses react more sensitively, and that allows us to see out when others cannot see in.

      There is no excuse for any form of betrayal, least from our parents. The trust between a child and parent must never be broken.

    1. Thanks, yes Tim has captured my thoughts too, in its entirety.

      When it comes to any form of betrayal, elements of humanity can indeed make us sick.

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