It’s been a long journey, a difficult journey, not one that I have relished, but one that I’ve had to endure. Giving up was never on my radar.

Stopping my anxiety waves is my priority, one which I struggle to do. I need to put a rubber stop on sliding further into anxious thinking. With autism, it's the place I automatically go back to and that isn’t great.

My habitual ways of thinking can leave me stuck. Through spiritual growth, through my writing, I know I have flourished and blossomed, but if I wasn’t stuck at 'home' I would probably see that. Easy to lose sight when your life stagnates.

I have been lost in my autistic cavern for years. It's a place I am familiar with, it's my 'go to place.' A place that no one without autism will ever understand. As I continue to work through things, I try to seek out ways, to work through my anxiety, so through my writing, I can continue to be a support to others.

Through my writing, I work with universal truths. The reality, is that unless you’re working with universal truths, everything else isn’t the truth. Through media outlets, it's a lot of what we're seeing right now.

As I continue to write, to put truths out on my blog, it is difficult to hear and read stories contrary to what are universal truths. That causes my anxiety to rise.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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