Unfortunately, the way we come to experience the world around us is as a reflection of the world within us. If our thoughts and energy don't support our life, then our life will not be supported and must find a way to learn to do it for ourselves.
I have always likened my lack of emotional support to living in a vacuum, emotionally being cut off from an environment that I at least managed to function in. Looking back, I didn't crave support, I learned to do without.
It would have been nice of course, but I simply chose not to dwell on what I didn’t have. The sad reality for us is that at some point or another, it will always be up to us to support ourselves emotionally, regardless of the support we get back.
I think I also supported myself emotionally during my childhood in order to continue on. I knew that how my family and other people perceived me wasn't true. It was just their own interpretation of who I was.
It still holds true now. People continue to have misconceptions about who I am because of my disability, instead of supporting who I truly am. It's not easy, but I try not to take their assumptions about me personally.
Even though it can be emotionally tiring not to have much support, I have to remind myself that I am doing my best with my life situation and that's all I can do.
Thanks Maria. I think you're right. As long as we do our best that's all we can do. People will always behave a certain way with people, wether they have a disability or not. That is my own experience.
I think over time we come to know the people who support us, no matter what. I found that when I stopped caring as much, I had more peace. The more we hold on to people who do little to support us, the more we will come to struggle emotionally.
I think you're wise not to take things personally. What people often say is about them, not about you. You're lovely as you are.
I grew up without any memorable hands on parenting, so had no emotional support to speak of good or bad.
For other reasons I detached myself emotionally from my family too. I had to support myself, but this meant I was very good at looking after myself on a day-to-day basis, but I guess just blocked out any need for emotional support. That made me very independent of others, which is not a good thing for relationships.
As an adult, I learned to understand how important it is to be supported and supportive and I am getting better at achieving that balance.
That's lovely news. That part of any relationship is so important. There are so many rewards when we get it right and so much angst attached to us emotionally when we get it wrong.
I'm pleased you're managing to work things through. That part is never easy, but understandable With no concrete parental support. it takes a while for anyone to understand how to make those changes, but once we do, we appreciate people and things more and that's important.