Have you noticed how people aren’t inclined to take advice, even when the advice is free or offered with love and sincerity?

Accepting another person's perspective

Perhaps it’s because we haven’t thought those thoughts first, so we’re slightly aggrieved that someone else has? We tend to like to work things out for ourselves. But it’s important that we’re able to accept advice from others who may see things from a slightly different perspective anyway.

Stubborn by nature

We’re stubborn by nature and don’t like to give others credit for something we would have liked to have thought about first, and yet if the shoe were on the other foot, we would be happy to hand out advice so that someone else can benefit from our wisdom.

Accepting advice allows for growth

Accepting another person’s advice allows us to grow spiritually, but we need to keep an open mind in order to accept their advice. When we’re not happy to accept other people’s advice, we will begin to stagnate emotionally, in effect blocking out all new thoughts that may help us change our lives.

There are plenty of books out there in libraries and book stores which we are happy to buy and seek advice from and yet when it comes to taking verbal advice from others, we’re less than happy to accept their advice, whether we find their advice helpful or not.

If the advice we got was given by someone whom also struggled, we’d be more inclined to listen. We hate it when we’re not successful, but we don’t like it when someone else is.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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10 comments on “Taking advice”

  1. This first line is me.

    Wow you fully described why I don't usually accept advice off some people no matter what the advice. This is kind of creepy how true this is for me.

    I hate to admit I'm like this when it comes to advice. Wow I'm showing my partner.

    1. I think many of us will see this in ourselves. It's life... no one likes being told what to do; or we think we're being told what to do!

      I was like this as a child, but my upbringing had a lot to do with it. Pleased my blog helped.

  2. You really seem to have hit the nail on the head.

    I'm not the best at taking advice. I think it stems mostly because I never really got any when growing up so I'm used to listening to myself, not others.

    I'm certainly better at giving advice than taking it, but I'm working on it.

    1. You're probably not on your own there. I am sure there are many of us that are better at handing out advice than receiving it. I also believe spiritually taking advice helps us grow and will help us in the long term form better and closer relationships.

      Pleased you're working on it, that always helps.

  3. I tend to drum to my own drummer.

    Usually when a family member is giving me advice it is usually preceded with you are not doing that right. There is criticism given before the advice, which makes it very negative.

    Yes I am very stubborn getting that from both sides of the house. If I dig in my heels there is no changing my mind.

    1. It sounds like a coping mechanism Randy. I don't believe for one minute you wouldn't be open to suggestions, if you felt those suggestions were just and helpful.

      We tend to close ranks when we feel challenged in some way. Sad but true. I'm sure you'd be different with others who didn't behave that way.

  4. Yes I agree with you.

    I gladly listen and take advice from others. Sometimes I don't use it though, but I have nothing against someone offering it to me. I know I could use all the help I can get.

  5. I know I'm not very good at following advice, even when deep down I know it's the best thing for me.

    I'm sure it stems from growing up always being told what to do. Now if I could just learn to listen more often, I'm sure that would be a lot more helpful!

    1. I believe you're right Randy.

      I believe a lot of our listening skills including taking advice from others do come from childhood and you're right again; others who give us help and advice would make our lives a lot more helpful, particularly if the advice helps us to change our lives for the better in some way.

    2. That's good Lisa. I am pleased you're happy to listen to what others have to say even if you don't use their advice.

      I'm just wondering though if you use more of the advice than you think you do, even if you're not putting that advice to use now. I am sure we've all done that, then changed things.

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