Have you ever been given the cold shoulder for something you’ve said, or are constantly being ignored by someone, but you have no idea why?
Nine times out of ten, it’ll be nothing to do with what you’ve done or said; most people are trying to deal with their own lives with their own issues and don’t have time to make contact. It would be unwise to assume someone’s giving us the cold shoulder, without knowing for sure.
Being told
I’d rather know what I’ve done wrong, so I can put the problem right, than be ignored because of something I’ve said or done. The problem is the more you give someone the cold shoulder, the more resentment you deal with and permanent avoidance becomes necessary.
Two-faced
The kind of people I'm talking about nice to your face one minute, then they’ll avoid eye contact next time as if you’re invisible, or you don’t exist. They’re moody and spend most of their time avoiding those they don’t want to talk to. They turn the charm on when everything is okay, then they'll go back to giving people the cold shoulder when they struggle again.
Check in with yourself
We could be at fault without realising, so looking at our own behaviour is a good idea, just to rule it out. Sometimes we’re not always aware that what we say may be insensitive, but to the other person that is what it is. If we try to correct the situation and the other person still gives us the cold shoulder, it becomes obvious they no longer want to remain friends.
When someone makes up their mind not to sort out any differences, it’s time to walk away.
I know what you're saying. I've been there too. I can't say I remember ever doing it to anyone though, (not intentionally that is).
You're right. If they would let us know what the problem is rather than ignoring us, it may help the situation and if we're given the cold shoulder we should ask about it rather than just letting it stand.
Ditto. Agreed!
I'm pretty used to getting the cold shoulder from people, so I don't think it bothers me as much as it would others!
The only time it really bothers me is when I talk to someone and they pretty much ignore me, like I'm not worthy of speaking to them. I grew up being treated like poor white trash, so that really gets under my skin.
If someone has a problem with me, I would rather have them tell me what the problem is than look at me like they stepped on something nasty.
Maybe someday I won't be as sensitive about it!
I think you're right Randy, when being ignored happens so often, we get past the stage of actually being bothered.
We almost become hardened to it so we're less affected by it, but my advice would always be to find new friends who care about us and don't give us the cold shoulder!