We will always fail to please others when we fail to please ourselves, we will always fail to trust others when we fail to trust ourselves and we will always fail to be honest with others when we’re not honest with ourselves. We will also always fail to communicate with others when we fail to understand ourselves.

In order to change things, we must get to know everything about us, to find out what makes us who we are. To find out what we like and dislike, find out what makes us happy and what makes us sad. Understand the things that make us angry and find out what makes us tolerant, everything.

It's important we find out everything there is to know about us, because it stands to reason that if we learn how to be these things to ourselves, we will be these things to other people.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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6 comments on “Things to change”

  1. You're absolutely right. I agree with all these things. We must know ourselves to know other people. If we can't trust ourselves how can others trust us? I mean really!!

    It's not always so cut and dry either. It can be hard getting to know ourselves. We just can't relate to others if we don't know how to relate to ourselves. I pretty much know 'me.' I know what I like and don't like and can tell how I will react to certain situations before they happen.

    I trust myself and I can relate to others well. I think that's why I have been successful in my career as a nurse. I'm empathetic and sympathetic to others. I have a very caring soul.

    1. Thanks Lisa! As you rightly say, getting to know ourselves is not always so cut and dry. It can be hard.

      Our upbringing has a lot to do with the way we deal with ourselves, others and our life. If we're taught to understand our inward feelings, we will begin to believe and know who we are. I'm not sure how many of us will really do that? Rather than face our realities, we tend to shy away.

      Dealing with issues about ourselves or stemming from other people is often too painful.

  2. Sound advice, as always! I wonder how many of us really know ourselves, honestly? I suspect not many. I know a lot of people who will undoubtedly claim to know the real me, but I don't think they do.

    1. Thank you! I have to say I agree with you. We think we know ourselves put when push comes to shove, we really don't.

      A lot of us will put on a facade, without dealing with the real us or getting to know ourselves.

  3. Very interesting blog. Just when I thought I knew everything about me, someone would profess to know me as well as I do; that annoys me to no end.

    Perhaps we'll never truly know ourselves until we experience the extremes of both fear and triumph, which most people never do. But if we totally knew ourselves, I wonder if it would matter in the scheme of things.

    1. Thanks Tim! This is my own personal view, but to know ourselves does matter. Without knowing ourselves, how do we live our lives and live our lives well?

      I believe that if we don't know ourselves well, everything in our lives would be superficial. On a daily footing the majority of us will work on a conscious level without drawing our own thoughts into the equation.

      When we work on an unconscious, intuitive level, we get to know more about ourselves, more about our lives and how we want to lives our lives. We will also know instinctively how to deal with the many issues that we have to deal with.

      I also believe that when we know ourselves, we not only become at one with ourselves, but we become at one with other people too. I don't mean to blow my own trumpet here, but in my own case if I didn't know myself well enough I couldn't write for The CP Diary as well as I do. I have to know myself well enough from the outside in to be able to write about my life and my experiences and articulately express what I feel.

      Knowing ourselves is the most important thing anyone will ever do.

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