"Even though I grew up with physical and mental struggles, my spiritual beliefs grounded me. They were always there. Those times were incredibly difficult, but being judged was worse.

We are shaped by our upbringing and environment. People judge based on what they think they know about us. Our thoughts and feelings are influenced by our parents – how they see themselves, how they see us, and how they judge others.

As a child with special needs and learning difficulties, I struggled academically. My struggles were seen as a reflection of me, rather than a mental disability that made learning harder. But I was judged.

Judgment doesn’t just come from family though – it comes from the wider community too. News spreads, and we hear it, even indirectly. I didn’t know what was wrong or that I had a disability, but some of the signs were clear. No one should have judged.

As my disability shows, we can't always assume we know what someone deals with and for those who do judge, it is wrong to judge."

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Those who Judge”

  1. It's wrong for us to judge anyone. Perhaps we should use judgment instead of judging.

    When we explore beliefs and understanding instead of judging, we open a door to expanded awareness and acceptance.

    I learned a while ago not to hold much importance to what people may think and in turn I try not to be judgmental towards others.

    The only person we should be judging is ourselves.

    1. Thanks. Yes, judgment to decide whether it's appropriate to judge. Not everything needs a comment from us.

      There is too much strife in the world already. Instead we must take on supportive roles that incorporate understanding, tolerance, patience, empathy and compassion.

      I know our relationships would thrive more and the world would be better with just these qualities for company.

  2. Judging people helps me in no way whatsoever. When people show me who they really are I normally believe them. I gauge folks based on their actions, which sometimes leads me to the truth.

    But just plain judging people from self-righteousness is wrong and perhaps dangerous.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes you believe people will tell you the truth and don't look for a motive or a hidden agenda. That makes you a kind person.

      That is exactly what we should all do. Avoid people with hidden agendas or motives. Actions do speak louder than words.

      The universe judges us by our actions and therefore it is right to judge others by their actions, if their actions set out to hurt or belittle others.

      I think you're right, when others judge from a place of being self-righteous that is totally wrong, particularly when it involves the ego.

      The ego in itself is dangerous because it will have you believe you can do and say anything to anyone. It has no boundaries.

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