Life can be difficult, relationships can be difficult and how we react in those relationships, can also be difficult.

When we react blindly so that we get caught up in a reaction, problems will always occur in those relationships as we blame and continue to blame the other person. It’s all too easy for us to get caught up in the moment of a ‘reaction,’ but all that serves to do, is shift the blame onwards on what we should and need to be dealing with ourselves.

Being in a relationship teaches us about communication. Relationships also teach us about commitment and how to be responsible because we have someone else to consider. Being responsible, means we should respond without needing to react all the time. I say should because it’s something we don’t always do.

When we respond in a way that works for others, we give the best of ourselves and that allows us to bond and build the foundations for a loving relationship. I have seen how relationships struggle to function, because one or both partners currently continue to live their lives with baggage that holds them back.

Relationships flounder because they’re too difficult to handle, as people fail to understand each other. The past tends to follow us like a lost soul until we let it go, but to do that we need to deal with it first. Any uncertainties we have are usually based on how we feel about our experiences.

It is important that our thoughts and feelings are brought into the present; not from experiences that happened years ago that we’re still struggling with. For all relationships to work, they need to be open and honest and we need to communicate.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Thoughts on relationships”

  1. The past has a lot to do with how we react now. It shapes us as human beings.

    It is very difficult to let go of the past sometimes and move on, but it can be done with effort and a willingness to let go; to try and step back and see what we have done in the past that does not work. Then correct it if we can.

  2. So true. I know my spouse and I don't communicate well, if at all. That's something we used to do a lot. But we have gotten out of the habit of talking with each other.I guess we've become comfortable with each other.

    I think we need to communicate now more than ever, because of things going on in our life. We are about to add to our family hopefully and communication is going to be very important.

    I guess I need to start the conversation and bring this to his attention.

    1. Lisa thanks for being so honest. I think if we're all honest, what you are experiencing is what some of us do too. We take for granted that things are okay with each other without asking whether they actually are!

      If you are adding to your family communication will be even more important.

      I hope things improve for you.

    2. You're right Randy, our past shapes us as individuals... and dealing with our past helps us build and communicate better in those all important relationships.

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