When the past shapes how we feel and respond

We often think of trauma as something we remember, something that belongs to the past. The reality is we're not always sure we have or carry trauma. But the effects of difficult experiences do not always remain in our memories. Sometimes they continue to influence how we respond to the world, even when the circumstances that caused them have changed.

Some experiences leave deeper wounds than others, and not everyone copes in the same way. But trauma is not something you should dismiss because you learn to function around it. When left unresolved, it can also influence how the brain, body and nervous system respond to stress and perceived danger.

People often feel its effects in their chest, stomach or muscles. Even when life becomes safer, the body can continue reacting as though the danger is still present. These physical responses are part of a wider picture.

Research shows that trauma can affect both the mind and body. Hypervigilance, panic, emotional numbness, digestive problems, exhaustion or chronic tension can all be associated with prolonged stress and responses to perceived danger.

What makes trauma difficult to recognise is that it doesn't always return as a clear memory. Sometimes it appears as a feeling, an emotional reaction, a reflex or a pattern we don’t fully understand.

This is why trauma can resurface unexpectedly. A smell, a tone of voice, a relationship dynamic or a particular environment can trigger an intense response because the nervous system has connected it with danger.

Trauma is less about remembering the past and more about continuing to experience its emotional and physical effects.

Trauma can affect us in different ways. Sometimes we recognise it for what it is, and sometimes we don't. But it is something worth taking the time to understand, reflect on and, where needed, work through.

Someone may know logically that they are safe, while their body still feels unsafe. Understanding what happened does not always mean that the body's automatic responses have changed.

Recovery is about more than talking about the past. It is also about helping the body gradually experience safety again – physically, emotionally and relationally – so it no longer responds as though danger is still near.

My own experiences have taught me that trauma isn't always obvious, even to the person living with it. Sometimes it takes time to recognise how much the past continues to influence the present. For me, understanding this has been important, but understanding alone isn't enough. We also need to recognise the ways trauma continues to affect us and find ways to address those effects, however difficult that may be.

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Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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