In the months leading up to my twin’s death there is no doubt I was continually dealing with trauma. Losing my twin has had a profound effect on me. The mouth ligament tightness is everything to do with the trauma, her passing and the negativity I’ve absorbed, No one is free from absorbing negativity energy.  

My Trauma

Being born with a disability I didn't know I had was trauma, but with continual work on myself over the years and being able to reason with myself, I have come through that pretty much unscathed. The trauma leading up to my twin's death has played into my now health difficulties. Playing catch up on our health isn’t always down to us.

What happens when we mirror negativity

Since losing my twin, I am learning more every day about myself, about my life. If I was to mirror the trauma I would be very sick by now. When I look back on things, I was stronger than I thought. I have managed to keep things together.

Tight mouth ligament

The tight mouth ligament injury with other health symptoms associated with the injury, is based on the trauma leading up to the loss of my twin, two months after my twin passed.

I still have my health struggles

It is now 10 months into her passing, and I still have my health struggles. I am having to go the extra mile to make sure the ligament goes down. I'm not winning yet, but I'm also not giving up.

I was trying not to fixate on the trauma, that I couldn't change and had no control over, and it's that which resulted in my subsequent sustained ligament injury two months after she passed.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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