It’s going to be a short blog today. I feel as though I’m treading water and have felt like this for some time now. I seem to be heading nowhere.

I have written about my problems here on the site, but those problems don’t seem to be abating. When I think I am in a place where I can breath again, I’m back to where I literally have to tell myself to breath, to convince myself that I will get through all that I'm dealing with.

It’s part of what we deal with sometimes. I'm under no illusion. It doesn’t seem to matter what it is, we have to push ourselves through those boundaries, because not to keeps us in a place of isolation. Sometimes when I look at what’s in front of me; my problems almost seem too great to bear.

For the short time retreating into that almost familiar place, waiting for things to change whilst the world continues to live, gives me time to acknowledge where we I am. We need time to work things through.

My weeks are the same and so are my problems. I’m treading water for now and probably will be for some time, but I have to believe things will get better. Not to believe that things will change will leave me in a very isolating place.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Treading water”

  1. You have to believe this will change. Don't give up hope. Be kind to yourself and do something for you for a change. That may help lift your spirits.

  2. If we didn't tread water we would drown. You're right. Treading gives us a break to sort things and get ourselves together.

    I hope you're out of this place soon. Just hang in there. Things will get better, I just know it.

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