Someone contacted me through my website, asking for advice on trust and deceit, so I thought I’d write a blog about it. I hope this helps.

Trust is the foundation on which relationships are based. Without trust, there is no relationship and where someone’s trust is broken, deceit usually follows. When we come to know one, it's only a matter of time until we have the other.

The thing about trust is that it’s not something we think about until something happens and that trust is broken, and we realise we don't have it anymore. It’s scary to think we can live our whole lives with someone, thinking we know that person, but never really knowing them. The realisation is the part we struggle with.

But trust shapes how we feel and think about other people and about ourselves. When trust is broken, it changes how we feel about others and how that trust came to be broken,

When our whole life has been based on trust, it becomes difficult to understand, comprehend or even contemplate how our life can then be based on lies and deceit. It’s also not something we can easily rectify or come to terms with, as we begin to perceive what’s happened in a whole new light.

We mustn’t make what happened to us, about us. It’s only when we look back that we see the relationship had all the hall markings. Unconsciously we notch incidences up without even realising and consciously we don’t even think about our lives in that way because we believe what we're told.

It’s not in our vocabulary or DNA. The issues surrounding trust or deceit are worse than deceit, because it's all to do with the bond that has been broken. It’s important that if we’re faced with a trust or deceit issue, we choose not to carry the issue.