Understanding Trust as an Active, Shared Process

Trust is often understood as something that develops over time, but it is shaped through openness, honesty and consistent behaviour. It does not grow in silence or avoidance; rather, it develops through transparency, clear communication and an awareness of others’ experiences.

Silence rarely supports the development of trust. In the absence of communication, people are left to form their own interpretations, which can lead to misunderstanding and emotional distance. Openness, by contrast, creates clarity and strengthens connection. When thoughts and feelings are expressed honestly, relationships are more able to develop in an authentic and meaningful way.

Growing up with something I later learned was a disability, also later learning I had originally being diagnosed at the age of two, shaped how I understood trust and honesty. I knew I was different. It didn’t feel confusing or upsetting – it felt like nothing. There were no conversations, and no one talked about what I had. With a cerebral palsy diagnosis in my forties that I had initiated, I slowly began to understand – delving deeper just how important trust, honesty and open conversations are. Being able to speak about my experiences through The CP Diary, my writing now finally helps me to make sense of things, and to build trust with myself.

Honesty is central to the trust process. It involves speaking truthfully, even when it's difficult. Not everyone feels comfortable hearing the truth, but it's necessary. Sharing perspectives can foster empathy, as others may recognise aspects of those experiences within themselves.

Listening is equally important. Trust is strengthened when people feel heard and understood. Attentive, non-judgmental listening affirms the value of another person’s perspective and encourages further openness.

In family contexts, trust is particularly important. It's built through consistency, and responsiveness to both emotional and practical needs. When these needs are acknowledged and met, a sense of safety and value is reinforced.

Trust is shaped through everyday actions – listening, being open, following through on commitments and responding with care. When mistakes occur, acknowledging them and offering sincere apologies can further strengthen trust by demonstrating accountability.

Trust is ongoing. It is sustained through honesty, openness and a willingness to engage. While silence creates distance, communication and mutual understanding provide the foundation upon which trust depends. Trust doesn't live in silence.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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