We may spend a lifetime trying to prove ourselves to others and as a result may judge ourselves harshly, but the only person we need to prove something to is ourselves.
We make a mistake we struggle to let the mistake go, we feel disappointed, we become judgmental and vulnerable. Life comes with trail and errors, we live our lives without thinking about our experiences, and fail to realise those become the catalyst for our choices.
We don't always need to get things right
We don’t always need to get things right. We don't stop to question when we get things right. We may learn more from failing, when we ask the questions that help us understand. It is important not to hold up to standards that are impossible to meet. We're afraid others will judge and we judge ourselves harshly.
We look for validation
We look for validation. Society’s imprint leaves its mark, and we continue to play catch up, not really knowing or understanding who we really are. We become dependent on the praise and approval of others, just so we measure our self-worth. It is important to provide yourself with some awareness.
Needing to prove ourselves
As we continue to live our lives, we continue to prove ourselves. The problem is that if we don’t think highly of ourselves, we will eventually rely on others to fill that gap, or if we already think too highly of ourselves, then we're not letting anyone in to help or guide us, or to offer their opinion, which could help us mature and grow.
It is important to break the cycle
It is important to break the cycle and to cut yourself some slack before life becomes all too consuming. We don’t have to continually perform or prove ourselves to others. Instead, we should choose to own our experiences, to know what you go through... and go easy on your own self-judgment, because this is where trying to prove ourselves starts.
Most of my life was spent trying to prove that I was different from my parents. In the end, I felt like I was the same and sometimes so much worse.
The reality was that by not dealing with my issues like they never did, it's no wonder things turned out the same way. Thankfully I have siblings who can attest to how things were. which I am reminded of after spending time with my brother.
Breaking the cycle has been the hardest thing to do but I'm thinking that we may finally be getting there.
I don't think you'll be the first child to have done that and you probably won't be the last.
Without parents always realising there is an expectation, a certain pressure they put on their children, but it's not just the parents, society as a whole does it also.
As a result of that of course, we feel we have to prove ourselves. In my own case although I wasn't consciously aware of it, there must have been an element of that for me also.
I am so pleased that you and your brother feel as though you're getting there, finally.