My grandmother was unassuming. I loved her unassuming personality and that quality in her. There were many other endearing qualities of hers that I embraced. She was happy in her own company.
When someone is unassuming, when something big happens in their life, they deal with it in the same unassuming way, but not always in a pro-active, get up and deal with it way, particularly when other people want to help them because they're seeing them struggle.
An unassuming person has no intention or desire to be praised or even noticed, they’re not pretentious or arrogant, but are shy and may have little confidence. They tend to work steadily in the background.
They get on with their lives quietly and won’t take or ask for help, even if they need it and as long as someone isn’t trying to push an agenda or take control, they will listen, unless of course, the person trying to talk to them is intimidating.
For those who are unassuming, they're more likely to accept help when they're at the stage where they're emotionally ready to let others help them, but unassuming people aren’t always in a position where they’re ready to accept help.
My grandmother wanted help, but didn't like to directly ask. Perhaps it was her lack of confidence that stopped her from asking. I believe it is, but it is still an endearing quality to have.
You are very fortunate to have had a grandmother like that. She sounds like she was a really lovely person.
Your description of her reminds me of someone I know, who; never moans even though she has plenty to moan about as life has dealt her a pretty shocking set of cards. She is a good listener too.
I wonder how much we really appreciate those qualities in someone while they are alive?
Yes it's wonderful to be able to have someone in our life who has these wonderful qualities.
I absolutely adored my grandmother. Her qualities were a complete contrast to what I knew and to how things were when I was growing up, so that made me appreciate her qualities even more.
I looked forward to my visits with her. I have fond memories of those times and of her.
With me it's a lack of confidence that gets in my way of asking for help.
I'm afraid the person will say no or is too busy with their own things to help me. I've learned not to assume anything. Assuming just sets us up for a fall.
As you say Lisa assuming anything will only set us up for a fall in the longer term, that and losing friends and family in the process of assuming!
You're right, a lack of confidence gets in the way of most things, including asking for help.
I haven't met many people like this who actually seem OK with their life no matter what's going on.
This is one of the qualities they try to promote in AA, which goes along with humility. I know for myself I would rather be near invisible most of the time, since I don't like dealing with many people.
I'm very glad that I have gotten to know you, since you are a great example of these qualities which I admire. I've been dealing with a friend who has been behaving like a big baby, which is finally getting on my nerves considering when I'm sick or don't feel good, I would rather just be left alone!
Thank you so much Randy. It's always nice to be quiet and discreet; just because we may have these certain qualities or attributes, doesn't mean we should flaunt or advertise them.
It's never easy dealing with people. It used to be easier than it is now. I can understand why you would choose to be invisible.