Out of everything I have had to deal with, my handwriting is something I continue to struggle with. It's not something I am always comfortable in talking about.

Although I understand why I struggled to join up the outlines on my handwriting as a child, my handwriting is still something I struggle with. Understanding why validates the struggle. It’s another part of my struggle, of my disability, and a part of ‘me.' It’s what I get to deal with, not something I can change.

This is just another piece of my cerebral palsy jigsaw. Around the creative side of my damaged brain, it's something I continue to struggle with. I can remember handwriting issues and my teachers’ comments, asking me to write bigger and speed up, neither of which I could do.

Years on and it's clear why it was impossible. My struggle is years on having to continue to struggle, with no help.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “Unresolved handwriting issues”

  1. You have the answers to why you struggled with your handwriting and also why those struggles were ignored and why you didn't get the help you needed and deserved.

    This was never your issue to resolve so 'give' it to those whose issue it was to own. It wasn't and isn't yours, but theirs.

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