When I look at my life through my eyes,
I see a version of me that you built, unwritten
a reflection stitched together with your opinions,
your comfort, and your conditions.
I saw my potential late,
but only within boundaries, emotional control and conditional love.
I shaped my strength to fit the space I was given.
Care was present,
though never without its edges and opinions
I was never allowed to air, question or ask.
I learned to shrink in ways that looked like obedience,
and that continually moved with me.
I was taught that love and respect came with fine print.
I carried that invisible contract for years –
performing and pleasing –
until I couldn’t recognise which parts of me were mine.
I adapted to what was given, not chosen.
Endured, because there was no other way.
My courage was welcome – so long as it stayed quiet.
I learned to live by the rules I never wrote.
In learning your view, I begin to glimpse my own.
Where your reflections cracked, my truth seeped through.
With each glance now I see clearer – no longer the version you set out.
Things are different now.
I write in my own tone.
I do what feels right
On this side of life, to you I had changed,
it wasn't that I'd changed, I'd just stopped pretending that everything was fine.
I don’t need to fit into anyone’s version of me anymore.
I’m living on my own terms, quietly.
Even though you aren't here to see it, I've learned to live beyond what you taught me.
This isn't about blame – it wouldn't help.
Instead, it's about release and acceptance.
With work on myself, I see what you both didn't do,
the person I have become, is free from the conditions that once defined me.
