"As you start to walk on the way, the way appears." - Rumi.

I did start to walk on the way, and the way did appear, I am walking my own path. That said, I would go back to my childhood for no other reason than where I am now is continually emotionally draining in a world that is permanently changed. It would have to be a different childhood with easier experiences, because the childhood I had was draining. Writing is making what I deal with easier, but I also know that if I had have known then what I know now, I wouldn't be writing today.

My mental and emotional challenges

It's difficult for me to comprehend just how much I've mentally been through over the years. With autism every day is a mental and emotional challenge. I continually have to come out of my comfort zone to challenge and work around my emotional and mental health. The life I got isn't the life I wanted; but a life the universe thought I needed.

I've had to fight for what I've got

When I look back, I didn't get what I needed and I've had to fight for what I've got. For anyone who has been through a difficult childhood, a painful childhood, it's understandable to wish for a different life, an easier path. This is where my writing comes in; it's making a difference.

We can't change the past

We can't change the past or those who played a part in our past, but we can work on making positive changes in the present. What are some of the things you wish were different about your childhood and how do you think you can work towards creating a better path for yourself now?

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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