If others don't see an issue in their actions, they will never change. All we can do is change the way we see their actions. The deed doesn't change, but our actions to the deed will need to change, if they're not changing.

For as many years as I spent in counselling trying to sort out my childhood issues, I spent as many years again waiting for those close to me to understand how their actions had affected me, but it was me who wasn't getting it.

We don't make the connections that although others should change their actions, particularly if what they're doing is affecting us, they aren't always going to change and therefore, it is us who needs to change.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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6 comments on “We need to change”

  1. I agree and once the 'penny drops' and we realise we can change; we see people and their actions for what they really are not how they make us feel.

  2. We can't wait forever for someone to change for the better.

    Since we can't make people change, we just need to realize that we have been hurt enough by their attitude and move on.

    1. Thanks Maria. When we don't understand the signs (and it took me many years to understand) we continue to hope that our circumstances will change, but of course they never do.

      I agree with you though when you say we need to realise that we have been hurt enough; but from my own experience, it's not always easy to move on when we're constantly in contact with that person.

      It's easier of course if we are able to move away from them.

  3. It bothers me when people fling their actions haphazardly without calculating or caring about how their actions may affect other people; it's frightening to say the least.

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