As a child, I learned very early on that we don’t have choices. That as the adult we get to choose, but we should choose wisely.
We don’t get to choose how our parents bring us up, but we do get to choose how our choices can better ourselves. That we can’t choose the behaviour of others, but we are instrumental in choosing how we behave towards others.
I learned the things we choose to ignore because they're too hard for us, are the very things we need to deal with that those things are meant for us.
That we don't consciously choose to get ill, but that we do unconsciously create the conditions by ignoring that experiences that continue to hurt us. I have also learned that we don't consciously choose to be a victim, but we do become victims when we fail to take control and instead rely on unconscious experiences, of a life lived.
The sooner we change our choices moving forward, the sooner our lives can change. Our circumstances may never be right but we still have choices that need to be made. Our lives are a creation of our choices and if we don’t like our choices, we should make different choices.
That no matter what the experience, we get one life, it's important we find a way through. We deserve to come through.
I was fortunate as a child I wasn't really parented. My parents were very hands off and I don't remember being taught anything, or being hugged or cuddled, or praised. So I grew up making my own choices from an early age.
I ran away aged 9, got a bus to a local park miles away, and came home after a few hours when it started to rain and I got cold. My mum thought I had been playing in my room.
I was used to having choices and when my circumstances changed and those choices were taken away from me I struggled, and only now realise I couldn't have done much about that, without massive repercussions.
Our lives are ours to live and it is essential that we make our own choices and learn from the consequences of those choices.
Thanks. Yes, in some circumstances we're actually better off without being parented and that is certainly true for you.
I have had to literally recondition myself. Everything I learned I have had to unlearn, but I would rather do that and be able to live the life I want to live.
Your story about running away although it sounds funny in hindsight, I am sure it wasn't funny for you. The whole 'leaving home' concept isn't funny. It sounded more like a cry for help, which sadly for you went completely un-noticed.
It's sad when parents find it difficult to be demonstrative. I have experienced that too. But that's something we should uniformly should change for our own children.
I tell my children I love them all the time and was always happy to cuddle.