I never assume. I ask questions then I know, so then I don’t have to assume, or live with an outcome I don't want. But there have been two enormously difficult events in my life where I felt it was right to stand back and assume an outcome and not to ask questions that would have brought about a different ending for me, but the right ending for someone else.
When we assume we take it that something will happen instead of making sure it will happen, but we may also come out with an ending we didn’t anticipate, but an ending we have to learn to accept. Assuming something is never the same as knowing; but we must always weigh up the circumstances so that we work out whether it’s right to go with assume, rather than to go with knowing for sure.
It will always depend on the circumstances, what’s gone on and how hard of a challenge it’s been for us to get to that point. Circumstances that change don’t always have to be negative. Always look positively at how the circumstances work out. Was the outcome we were left with more positive than negative? Was it right to leave those circumstances to chance instead of knowing for sure? If the answer to that question is Yes, then we did the right thing.
Whatever the circumstances, we may have already worked out why it was right to have assumed, rather than for us to know for sure. It’s always important to look at the bigger picture, of how we got to a particular point. Often depending on how difficult our circumstances are, we may just resign ourselves to a new outcome, which often works out okay.
Well, there's an old expression of what happens when you assume something, you end up making an ass out of you and me! While it may sound rather crude, it does seem fitting quite often, so I've learned to try not to do it, because things usually don't turn out the way I think they will.
Certain things you can assume, like how certain people will react a certain way if that's the way they've always done things! It would be nice to really be 100% sure of how things will turn out, but chances are that they'll turn out the way they're going to whether we like it or not!
The hard part is being able to accept it and move on.
Thanks Randy. I've not heard of the saying before, but I think you've hit the nail on the head Randy with your last paragraph.
The hard part for any of us is being able to accept what happens and move on, even if consciously we know we've made the right decision to let things just run its course.
We all make assumptions all the time, some right and some wrong.
As you explain, there is a world of difference between assuming we know and actually knowing. Knowing removes all doubt and is usually a better basis for our decision making, but sometimes it is perfectly okay to make assumptions and often those assumptions are borne out in practice.
At the end of the day if we are happy with the outcome, I guess it doesn't really matter if that comes about through questioning or through assumption. The problem is when we leave a situation and the outcome is undesirable but could have been more positive through questioning and knowing.
Thanks yes I totally agree with you.
I would also advocate knowing rather than assume. That way we're totally in control and will always be aware of the outcome, but in my own particular case, given my circumstances, I was well aware what the outcome would be; but it was just too difficult and didn't want to rock the boat.