"Anger is defined as an emotion characterised by tension and hostility arising from frustration, real or imagined injury by another, or perceived injustice" – Google

Anger

Anger is a spontaneous response to an issue or situation that is being ignored and is continual. When anyone feels anger they are non-cooperative. We don't actively choose to carry anger, it is our circumstances that dictate the anger we feel.

Fight or Flight

It is true for me. I continually lived in a ‘fight or flight’ response as a child well into my twenties trying to deal with a disability I didn’t know I had. It was an acute stress response to my own situation. It’s not something I fully understood and those who did understand, made my anger about me.

Children don’t actively choose to hold on to anger. I needed help, children need help to be able to understand and work through any mental and emotional struggles and with a little more ease. To be understood not misunderstood, to have the support, to navigate what they deal with, to be given the tools to cope, to be able to move forward.

Any issue or situation that is on-going and is never addressed, will lead the victim to carry the hurt and hurt if not dealt with, can turn into anger. We present anger, when our issues are continually not being addressed.

When anyone causes others to hold on to anger, and there is no apology for what they've done, the victim will always find it hard to let go of their anger. As adults, we have to want to care, to help be a support, it is our job.

NSPCC Full Stop Campaign

I make reference to The NSPCC ‘Full Stop’ Campaign in 1999. (Source: https://sofii.org). No child should have to deal with the anger they feel through neglect, trauma, or abuse. The world needs to put a full stop to any form of abuse.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “Why we hold on to anger”

  1. Being angry doesn't really achieve anything And often it makes a situation much worse.

    The best way to let go of anger, is to first identify where it comes from and then take active steps to resolve it.

    That requires us to do some work on ourselves while also being honest about our feelings, which is much easier said than done.

    1. Thank you. Yes, I agree. But it is important we are able to recognise we carry anger. I think that's part of the problem.

      Not everyone will make their own connections with how they are. I think you're right, for those who carry anger, it is important they work on themselves and be honest about how they feel.

      It is very much a starting point for us all.

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