Just because we choose to block things out, doesn’t mean those things didn’t happen, in the same way failing to acknowledge another person’s success doesn’t mean that person didn’t meet with success.

Blocking anything out, doesn’t make it so. It just means we may not only fail to recognise other people’s success, but our potential success also.

It is important we are happy for others, even if we haven’t met with success. Perhaps, it isn’t their success, perhaps it’s our upbringing and our lack of success. We’re never happy for those who have more than we do.

Taking that stance is not how the universe expects us to act, it’s not the spiritual way. It is important to learn to be charitable towards another person’s success, if you are to recoup some of our own.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Why we may fail”

  1. Life has a way of backfiring when we overindulge in ourselves. So instead, we should think spiritual and encourage others to succeed; that helps goodness flow into every aspect of our lives.

    Certainly, each moral decision we make is an opportunity for our own progress.

    1. Thanks Tim. Ditto on your thoughts. 'Each moral decision we make is an opportunity for our own progress and our spiritual growth.' Yes.

      I believe being spiritual is the only way for us to encourage goodness to flow into every aspect of our lives.

      Spirituality encompasses all that is good. It's about being concerned with the human spirit or soul, as opposed to material or physical things.

  2. Blocking things out was the only way I survived my childhood, but it also meant that I missed out on a lot of other good things, seeing as there were a few moments here and there that were good.

    I have also been very envious and resentful towards others, who seemed to have such an easy time in life, while I have always had to struggle and fight just to get what I needed, let alone anything that I ever wanted. My Mother also encouraged that kind of behavior and way of thinking, so it eventually became all that I knew.

    She also crippled me mentally by not allowing me to do a lot of things that parents usually teach their kids how to do, so I become paralyzed when confronted with a lot of things that people are able to do so easily.

    It's called learned helplessness, which I now have to overcome at 49 years old. People so often take such simple things for granted.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, I get you. Had I not internalised things for myself, I will have had some of what you had to deal with.

      It's always sad when we carry baggage into our adult lives without being able to let those go. You're not alone. Do others have an easy time? I'm not sure we do, but I can understand your thinking.

      We tend to equate what we have to deal with and then assume others have it easier. We can go on to change our thinking, including how we see our lives, what other people have, what we haven't had and how our parents' parented us.

      I believe that through a change in our thinking and a different approach we can turn certain aspects of our lives around.

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