In our less than perfect world, being taken for granted seems to have become par for the course. For some of us once the relationship beds in, complacency also sets in. We must all work at relationships.

When we're not coping, our loved ones usually get the brunt of our feelings. Sadly, because we're not always consciously aware, we fail to take control of how we respond.

Our behaviour is mirrored through our subconscious thoughts. Like a book that unfolds, the more positive our past, the more positive our conscious thoughts, the better behaved we will be. And yet we get it right with friends.

With friends we've already surmised and understood our need to behave. With loved ones, we assume they’ll stick around, regardless of how we treat them. We never stop to think about how fortunate we are.

Relationships will flourish and the bond between people will emotionally grow stronger when we work on giving and receiving. Respect is something that must be earned in relationships. We all need to feel valued and loved.

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Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Working at relationships”

  1. I believe we are taught the way our parents interact with us. They are our examples in our early years.

    I had one parent who was very loving and supportive, whereas the other one was just the opposite. That is why I was much closer to my mother. She supported me in my hopes and dreams where as my father always said no you cannot do that. He was and still is is a very negative person.

    He learned that from his parents because they were that way unfortunately.

    1. I agree with you that parents are usually instrumental in how we interact in relationships, but I am not sure how far their teachings go.

      The old fashioned values, which deal with everything that help us interact well with others, aren't always addressed by our parents. I am very pleased that your mother had a positive input for you on your upbringing.

      It always helps to have that support.

  2. I agree. I think our up bringing has a lot to do with it.

    I can see a lot of my father and how he treated my mom in my husband. It wasn't bad it's more like she was taken for granted and I feel the same from my husband. My mother is a kind, caring and giving person and I tend to follow her path. Giving when I can't sometimes and overextending myself.

    I'm always grateful for any help I get and make sure that person or persons know it. We should always be thankful and not take people for granted.

    1. Ditto on your comment about taking others for granted. I believe there has to be a balance, so that others don't begin to take advantage of us.

      When we over-extend ourselves to help others that's when others start to take advantage, because they know they can.

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