For those who are new to my blog, I initially started writing to understand myself with something I didn't know I had; with a physical, mental and emotional disability. I continue to write now so that I can understand the world. With a late autism diagnosis, my writing helps me to change the way I think. In a changed world, with autism every day is scary. Although I write to get my thoughts out, to express what I know, I also write to explore what I need to know, what I don’t know and to understand. Writing helps me to understand things that aren't easily known or easily explained to an autistic brain.

Writing Helps Organise the Chaos in my Mind

With autism, I have a traffic jam in my head most days. My thoughts are like scattered puzzle pieces. Writing forces me to gather those pieces and helps me to sort them out. When I write, I organise my thoughts and my emotions. I am able to place things better.

Writing Helps me to Confront Difficult Topics

Writing helps me to confront difficult topics. With autism many topics are uncomfortable. In a changed world, those topics are becoming even more uncomfortable. Writing forces me to confront the uncomfortable. In writing, I am able to create a record of my thoughts as they evolve and that helps with anxiety. Also, the more you continue to read my blog, a blog post I wrote five years ago will show how I used to see the world then, versus how I see the world now. With each new topic my understanding deepens and that helps me to make sense of the world.

Conclusion

For me, writing is about finding peace. With autism it's difficult to have peace, the mental illness is based around anxiety – but also knowing that each new thing I learn, big or small, adds depth to who I am. Writing to understand is not always easy, but what is good for me, is that every word brings me closer to making sense of the world and myself.