“We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.” - Anais Nin.
How different relationships would be, how much easier our lives would be if we saw things as they are and not how we are, or how we interpret them. Seeing things as we are identifying the wrong scenario to how things really are. We mistake our view of the world with the world itself.
It does go some way to explain, however, why people struggle to understand each other in the way they do. It also goes some way to explain why we constantly interpret conversations and put a different spin on them.
Why we're quick to pick fault and pigeonhole others into believing they’re a certain way, when in fact the way we’re seeing them is the way we are and not the way they are.
I do think it important that we stand back on the different scenarios, so that we live life through a different colour lens to the one we’re living through. That way we’re more likely to make more accurate decisions for ourselves about other people and get those decisions right.
When we stand in judgment of someone, we judge that person through how we judge and see ourselves. That's okay of course if we we’re optimistic by nature, but if we constantly have a negative spin on life, we’ll always see other people in the same negative way and that’s not right or fair.
We must learn to see people as they are and not as we are. That I believe is so important.
I agree with you one hundred per cent. We should see people as they really are and not as we see them or judge them by how we are. This makes me think of rumours.
People see others the way they want to and then rumours start about the person that aren't true. I used to be the victim of people doing this to me when I was in high school. Rumours got started about me that were not at all true, so people didn't befriend me a lot.
Just because I was quiet and kept to myself a lot, others would assume things about me and of course the rumours started.Assuming things about others cause a lot of problems and lost friendships. We should get to know others well before we start assuming things about them.
Seeing people the way we want to see them isn't fair to either person.
Thanks Lisa. It's certainly not right that you had rumours spread about you in school. That must have been a tough time for you.
Yes it would be great if we all managed to see things as they are and not as we are. It would save on so many disagreements, fall outs and presumptions we make about people as you have rightly pointed out.
I think you're right, we do tend to see people the way we are rather than seeing them the way they are.
It's all part of the way we operate with pre-conceived ideas and prejudices, even though we often don't see them until they are pointed out to us.
What we should do is stand back and make balanced judgements, based on the person and not on what how we are.
Ditto on your thoughts, although if someone uses this behaviour and I have seen it happen many times before; it's not something easily remedied. From my experiences no-one likes to have something like this pointed out to them.
From my own experiences usually the person being told will put the onus back on the other person for pointing the issue out in the first place.
I think we should all at least try to be more honest about our behaviour and accept if someone is unhappy with us for whatever reason.