Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities.
She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges.
In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines.
Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.
Something inspirational: “Think wrongly, if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.” DORIS LESSING Thinking for yourself means more than having your own opinions. It means owning your words, your choices, and ...
Something inspirational: "We are not what happened to us. We are what we choose to become.” JAMES HOLLIS "I am drawn to James Hollis's words: 'We are not what happened to us. We are what we choose ...
Something inspirational: "Healing begins when we can hold our own experience with compassion." TARA BRACH Brach's quote reminds us that healing begins when we meet our pain with kindness instead of judgement ...
I wasn't exactly allowed to think for myself and if I did try, my mother would punish me with her passive-aggressive torture tactics.
Everybody thought I was so spoiled, but in reality I paid a high price for what little things I got. My mother pitted me against my dad and my siblings, in exchange for the better treatment, which after a while I didn't really want.
This has lead to a lifetime of people pleasing and trading my dignity for what little scraps I could get out of life. My friend keeps wondering why I would put up with the treatment that I do and as sad as it sounds, it's pretty much what I'm used to.
I haven't really thought for myself since I was a very young child, but it would be fantastic if I felt like I actually had control over my own life for a change.
Thanks Randy. You clearly didn't have control back then and although emotionally you're tied to the old patterns, I think you can have more of that control back now.
I know from my own experiences of how I was in my early years, how little control I had myself. In my twenties I began to see how co-dependent I was with my life. I never made any decisions, they were made for me. I didn't start to think for myself until I left home.
When we begin to see and equate where we are with our lives, we can choose to change. What we do is, we know what we know, we're not happy where we are, with what we know, but we do nothing about it.
I believe you can Randy and think your friend is right, but understand how you feel too because I've been there.
As children we're not always in a position to think for ourselves or be independent, unless it's encouraged by our parents. You have said you were pretty much left to your own devices, so it's not surprising you were always so independent.
In a way that probably saved you. That said, when we go on to form relationships, whether it's with a spouse or through friendship groups, we must always learn to communicate differently.
We can think on our own, but we also have to take other people into consideration too, rather than make decisions on our own through our independent thinking.
I agree with you that it can be difficult changing the way we communicate, but it's important if our relationships are going to flourish.
I've never had a problem thinking for myself, it's what I do best.
I think I inherited that from my father, he was an independent thinker who wasn't afraid to fail.
Great response Tim and that shows through your many responses.
The independent thinker will make sure he doesn't fail. That is what sets him apart from the rest.
I wasn't exactly allowed to think for myself and if I did try, my mother would punish me with her passive-aggressive torture tactics.
Everybody thought I was so spoiled, but in reality I paid a high price for what little things I got. My mother pitted me against my dad and my siblings, in exchange for the better treatment, which after a while I didn't really want.
This has lead to a lifetime of people pleasing and trading my dignity for what little scraps I could get out of life. My friend keeps wondering why I would put up with the treatment that I do and as sad as it sounds, it's pretty much what I'm used to.
I haven't really thought for myself since I was a very young child, but it would be fantastic if I felt like I actually had control over my own life for a change.
Thanks Randy. You clearly didn't have control back then and although emotionally you're tied to the old patterns, I think you can have more of that control back now.
I know from my own experiences of how I was in my early years, how little control I had myself. In my twenties I began to see how co-dependent I was with my life. I never made any decisions, they were made for me. I didn't start to think for myself until I left home.
When we begin to see and equate where we are with our lives, we can choose to change. What we do is, we know what we know, we're not happy where we are, with what we know, but we do nothing about it.
I believe you can Randy and think your friend is right, but understand how you feel too because I've been there.
I have thought for myself for as long as I can remember, so accepting that others might want to think for me isn't always easy.
As children we're not always in a position to think for ourselves or be independent, unless it's encouraged by our parents. You have said you were pretty much left to your own devices, so it's not surprising you were always so independent.
In a way that probably saved you. That said, when we go on to form relationships, whether it's with a spouse or through friendship groups, we must always learn to communicate differently.
We can think on our own, but we also have to take other people into consideration too, rather than make decisions on our own through our independent thinking.
I agree with you that it can be difficult changing the way we communicate, but it's important if our relationships are going to flourish.