When we deal with a physical problem, it’s important we learn to embrace and accept our physical limitations, so that we’re okay with them. As a form of acceptance, I thought I would write a letter to my cerebral palsy. This is how it went.

Thank you, Cerebral Palsy, for keeping me grounded, allowing me to understand and learn values of courage, compassion and perseverance through having to deal with you. Having you with me has shown me a different and better way to be. You have given me a much deeper understanding and meaning to many of my physical experiences.

I don’t consider you as a disability, neither do I consider myself disabled. Cerebral Palsy doesn’t define me, instead I have chosen to adapt. I cannot live my life with you, without adapting to living with you. I have learned over the years to work alongside you and will always stick up for you when I need to. The day I was born, you and I became victims of circumstance. It’s not something we asked for, but something we got.

I think it’s important others understand you and how your symptoms manifest themselves in me and what I have to deal with. Although the two go together, there needs to be more understanding for us, from other people. Unfortunately, there is a lot of ignorance around you and therefore the ignorance is around me too, which makes my life difficult and which others don’t always seem to appreciate.

As we continue to journey through life together, I choose to embrace my life with you. I know that from a stroke at birth, we were saddled together. Thank you for teaching me how to physically and emotionally live one day at a time.

Although it took time for me to make the connections with you and to know what you were, I always knew deep down we were somehow closely connected and now that I know, I think it’s okay.’

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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