As a child, the only thing I wish I had were two legs and a foot that was the same as my other leg and foot, but I also didn't understand why having a different leg and foot, made me uniquely different.
I was too wrapped up in my emotions to notice others. I also didn't know about my neurological difficulties that made me uniquely different. But we are only human, so that when we see someone who is the opposite of us, taller, slimmer, dark, pretty and sophisticated, we want to be those things.
Because we're all uniquely different, it is important to see and embrace our differences. Instead of honing-in on how jealous we may be, we need to shift our awareness to one of admiration and use that as our inspiration.
We should stay anchored so that we’re looking at ourselves, rather than looking at others, who are looking after themselves. We should learn to use and extend self-compassion to ourselves so that we see ourselves kindly.
We should be mindful, because being mindful keeps us humbled, grounded and present. All qualities that point us back to ourselves.
Yes, being 'uniquely different' is a much better way to look at things. I always thought myself as a circus freak for most of my life.
My dream of being a fighter pilot was shattered when I was 4, when a girl in school ruined my eyesight by trying to crush my skull.
There were so many other things that I could have done, but I stayed focused on the one thing that I couldn't do anymore and pretty much gave up on dreaming.
All I ever wanted was to feel like I fitted in somewhere, but no matter how many different groups I tried to fit into, none of them ever really felt right.
I have always felt left out and incredibly lonely, even in the middle of a crowd. I do really need to stay mindful, like they keep saying in Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, so that I can stay grounded in today.
Thanks Randy. Yes, I learned a long time ago that it was counterproductive for me to hone in on the things I'd failed at like school, but it took me a lot of years to understand that.
I learned not to own what didn't belong to me and have had to work hard to let going of those things. Please don't see what happened to you as your failing, because it's not. You are 'uniquely different.' But we don't fit in because others choose not to let that happen.
You're a good guy Randy. If your therapy is helping stay with it. There are good people out there who are happy to help. The ones who aren't, aren't for you.
That's the way I would choose to look at it.