It’s a fact that our childhood will throw up many issues based around the environment we grow up in. Whatever we have had to contend with as a child, our experiences will always affect us and although it’s far from right, none of us can change those experiences.
We also cannot wish for things that didn’t happen. If anything, we must find a way through, so that we move on from our experiences. It becomes counter-productive, when we carry and continue to carry the hurt that we associate with the pain from those experiences and unconsciously begin to use those experiences in a hostile way, by directing what we feel at those who aren’t to blame.
The people who may be to blame are often victims of their own circumstances. That doesn't make what they do right, but it does go some way to help us understand why.
You're right. We do tend to chuck blame around without really looking behind the act or words and it is sometimes easiest not to, even though that may well be the wrong thing to do.
I would only apportion blame where I knew for sure I wasn't to blame. I think we can be slightly more stubborn depending on the family dynamics, but if we're genuinely not to blame, I don't see why we should take the blame for someone else.
They should be responsible enough to see why they need to shoulder the blame themselves. Regardless of whether they take responsibility or not, the universe always knows.