It would be lovely to think people only want to bring out the best in us, but there are those who will continually insist on bringing out the worst in us, by constantly finding fault. I think that when that happens it says a lot about them and very little about us.

Fault is taken from the ego that is responsible for the misrepresentation on how we see and behave towards other people. When we learn to take our ego out of any equation, we become selfless. When we become selfless we begin to see and recognise some of our own faults, instead of finding fault with others.

Of course, taking our ego out of the equation doesn’t mean others will be completely faultless, I don't believe we're ever completely faultless, but it does mean we won't find fault with others through the ego.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Bringing out the worst”

  1. Yes, I agree. Our ego's do get in the way a lot and we feel like we have to make ourselves look good by finding fault with others.

    I try to look for the positive, the good in others rather than the faults. How can we get along if we find something wrong with others and think ourselves as being near perfect?

    1. Thanks Lisa. Unfortunately we won't get along if we're constantly finding fault. Finding fault with others will only set to make us less perfect, not near perfect.

      The problem with the ego is that it tells us we're perfect, that we can do and say anything. I believe for us to do that, we will always be less than.

      As you say we must look for the good in people.

  2. I know someone who always used to bring out the worst in me; not through an ego but just because we never agreed abut anything and I let myself get wound up by it.

    I learned to ignore this and we now get on okay, as long as I listen without challenging too much!

    1. Debate is healthy, otherwise we'd all be doormats, but yes I know the type of person you're referring to.

      When we're self-righteous and always right it's hard for us not to be affected by them. I can understand why they would bring the worst out in you.

      As you say in your last paragraph and I agree, it's often better not to challenge. You don't have to convince someone on what you already know.

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