Confidence is something we all need to work at. It’s not something I had in abundance as a child but as the adult I know exactly how it works. That how we feel is usually how we act. When we feel good and confident about ourselves, we will feel good about others too.

Parents' parenting

If parents get the parenting thing right, they become the main source of a child’s sense of self-worth and confidence. I am frustrated sometimes, because this wasn’t something that was afforded to me. In the past it was easy for me to question my own self-worth, particularly when I saw babies and young children with their parents and often wondered whether they would be luckier than I was.

I’m not bitter about the fact that I didn’t grow up with the tools so that I would become confident, but it does hit hard when I have issues to deal with and my sense of self-worth hits rock bottom. I believe in myself, I believe in my abilities, I couldn’t write in the way I do without it, but my confidence sometimes takes a knock just when I need it the most. But that depends on what I'm dealing with. When I think about it that is the part I get most frustrated at.

Confidence and self-esteem

I believe that both confidence and self-esteem paves the way for good emotional and physical health. They are the foundations to a happy and peaceful life, without which in times of crisis, we will always find ourselves struggling.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Building blocks of confidence”

  1. I have self-confidence now, but as a child I didn't think much of myself. My parents didn't express that to me as much as they did my sister, but they didn't think I would live to be a ripe age! They weren't given a lot of hope for me by the doctors, but I proved them all wrong. My confidence fails me sometimes and I feel worthless especially if I fail at something I know I can do.

    My husband encourages me some now, but not as much as he used to when we first got together. I get encouragement from a lot of others and my mom now gives me a lot of encouragement and tells me when people ask about me and ask how I can do what I do.

    I should be in bed resting all the time or not doing what I do, but I won't let my conditions hold me down. I think you should keep going no matter what you have going on. I believe when you slow down the illness will get you down.

    I push myself and have days when I can't do as much, but that's my confidence. I know I can do things and I do them. I also believe parents should encourage their children constantly.

    I encouraged my daughters all the time and still do and I encourage my new son even though he probably doesn't understand it yet, he will and he'll remember it.

    1. I believe it is a parent's job to encourage, no doubt in my mind about that, but for some including myself that doesn't always happen. With encouragement comes confidence.

      It's a shame your mother didn't encourage you Lisa in the same way as your sister. Just because you were dealing with an illness, didn't mean you needed to be written off, but from what you say things have changed for you now as far as your mother is concerned. I am pleased about that.

      I think it is important to encourage and be encouraged. It's something we should all work on for ourselves and others, whether you're a parent, grandparent or teacher.

      Circumstances shouldn't make a difference neither should having favourites.

  2. I've had my confidence shattered and rebuilt so many times that I don't feel like I have all the pieces anymore.

    I was a very confident child, well aware of my abilities until about 12 when certain aspects of my personality began to emerge that I didn't know how to deal with safely. Once I started drinking I really didn't care about being able to do anything other than party.

    I gave up on everything I ever wanted to do or accomplish and just fumbled through life for the next 30 years. Now I have to find a way to rebulid my shattered psyche so that I can have the confidence to do what needs to be done!

    My biggest goal is to be able to help my Daughter build her own confidence, so she can have her own life. Pray for me!

    1. Randy up until the age of 12 you had confidence and were aware of your abilities. I believe you can have both of those again now.

      As ever our circumstances and environment play a bit part in how we steer our lives, which takes us off track, but I believe we can find our way again. it takes time and a determination to succeed.

      By helping and continuing to help your daughter, you're helping yourself too. I know you can do this.

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