Relationships and Being Judged

Date 25 February 2012
Author Ilana Estelle
I’ve heard it said, ‘It’s better to come from a broken home than live in one.’ It is important not to feel guilty about walking away, if it means we’re supporting our mental and emotional health. We may find it hard to walk away, because we think others may judge.…
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Cancer treatment choices

Date 24 February 2012
Author Ilana Estelle
How many of us go with decisions that have been made that we don’t agree with, but have no choice but to agree to? That has been the pattern for all of my adult life. I know that my decision for my father not to have treatment would be the…
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Dealing with illness

Date 21 February 2012
Author Ilana Estelle
Things are never easy for the one who is terminally ill, or the family dealing with their loved one being terminally ill. I’m tired and although I am mentally okay with what’s happening, keeping up with it is even more tiring. It’s important to spend time with a loved one,…
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No need to feel guilty

Date 19 February 2012
Author Ilana Estelle
I have so many thoughts tonight. I feel indifferent, calm and very tired. We may come to reflect on our relationships around the time we know someone we love is terminally ill. Relationships are about expression, we need to be able to express ourselves. Picking fault is unhelpful and counterproductive…
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Losing a loved one

Date 17 February 2012
Author Ilana Estelle
As children, we may live in fear of the reality that one day our parents will no longer be around.  Children are too young to have the knowledge that adults have. Losing a parent seems scary when you’re a child. My mother passed away what will be 5 years on…
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Addressing emotional issues

Date 15 February 2012
Author Ilana Estelle
In my late twenties, I was put on antidepressants for post-natal depression. In hindsight it wasn’t the best idea. We may become more reliant and if that happens, the habit becomes even harder to break. I was lucky enough that at the time my depression wasn’t bad enough to be…
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My reflective thoughts

Date 13 February 2012
Author Ilana Estelle
Seeing my father this afternoon put me in somewhat of a reflective mood. It has helped me understand him and his life a little more. I feel it’s important to understand how and why I got to this place with my disability and to challenge what I need to find…
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My tomorrow

Date 12 February 2012
Author Ilana Estelle
We all have to lose a parent, that’s a given but looking back at what I’ve had to deal with in the last 5 years, I can’t believe my father is now terminally ill. I had a problem watching my mother struggle with her health before she died, so may…
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Working on the soul

Date 10 February 2012
Author Ilana Estelle
I believe we’re born with a loving, caring and happy soul, but negative experiences can affect the soul. Those experiences can also begin to make up and reflect our personalities. It is through those experiences that bad patterns can be formed. Often we may be too busy trying to work…
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Away from The CP Diary

Date 6 February 2012
Author Ilana Estelle
Away from The CP Diary and my writing, I have my share of problems, some of which still continue. Growing up my life was far from easy. My intuition helps me to work and find most of my answers, even if the answers aren’t there to begin with. I put…
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Indecisive tendencies

Date 4 February 2012
Author Ilana Estelle
I know one or two people who struggle with making decisions; but not being able to make any decision may impact our lives. It’s all to do with self-confidence. We should have faith in ourselves and our abilities; faith to trust our own thought process; faith to believe the decisions…
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Looking back

Date 3 February 2012
Author Ilana Estelle
I woke up this morning with a clear mind, (which is unusual for me), but as the day moves on, so does my mind. My thoughts now go back to the last 4 months. No choice situations When we have no choice and know that we have to get through…
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