What we see and what we get

Date 20 February 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
In a world that has become more divisive we should be unique, open and honest, but what we see isn’t always what we get. We must also speak our truth, but do that in a way that others will listen, but not be dictated to. What you see with me…
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A parent's job

Date 11 February 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
My job as a parent has always been to get past my own insecurities, but I can’t vouch for my children picking up on other people’s insecurities. My childhood struggles As a child, I struggled with the fact that I didn’t have the support or the guidance to help me…
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My inability to rationale

Date 7 February 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Talking about my struggles with not being able to rationale, is an important blog that I felt compelled to write. Whilst it’s taken me too many years to understand exactly what I continually deal with, I feel that I am getting there. The Frontal Cortex I know that my frontal…
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Wanting to know

Date 4 February 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
It is nothing short of a miracle that I have got to this place pretty much unscathed. I look back on my experiences and my life seems to have been one long struggle. My Diary softens the blow There is no doubt now that my diary has cushioned and softened…
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When other people control

Date 3 February 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
When other people choose to control and make their problems about us, without stopping to question their actions, after a while we may begin to think it’s us. It must be something we’re doing for others to behave in that way. My continued struggles living in the shadows Having lived…
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My different thinking

Date 30 January 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Unfortunately, because my brain is configured differently to that of a normal thinking brain, how I get to see things is back to front, like a rewired plug. That includes any processes that requires forward or normal emotional thinking. I use my intuition to bring my thoughts into a forward-thinking…
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Sleeping without dreams

Date 27 January 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Imagine a black sheet of paper in front of your eyes, with no lights, with no images, with no memories or imagination coming through. That’s what I see when I sleep. With extensive damage to the Cerebral Cortex, the part of the brain that is responsible for dreams, means I…
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We can't go back

Date 22 January 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
'We can’t go back to yesterday we were different people then.' If we were to go back, we wouldn’t know what we know now, we’ve grow emotionally and mentally through our experiences. I wouldn’t be writing, and my life would never change because the people in it would still be…
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2017, a different era

Date 19 January 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
I feel 2017 has catapulted us into a different era, a different more uncertain world. Not one that I like and a world that’s not easy to get my head around. With Northern Ireland’s lack of a coalition government, the UK’s Brexit, Teresa May and now the impending inauguration of…
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Feeling guilt

Date 11 January 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
There’s a photograph I go back to, because it reminds me of the life I had, where I didn’t know about my physical disabilities. I was 9 years old. It reminds me of a life lost, a life troubled, a lie. It wasn’t me. It was a different version of…
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Seeing things as they are

Date 9 January 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Calling a spade and spade and black and white scenarios are inextricably linked and form the bigger picture of our lifestyle choices, depending on how we choose to see things. Observing  life through your intuition Growing up I was more observing of my life and through those observations, I became…
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My stress

Date 7 January 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Sorting our issues out, very much depends on what’s going on around us, but if we all worked together, our issues would not only get sorted out, but they would get sorted out quicker too. Given my blog, it would be easy to conclude that my life’s in order that…
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