Others' conformity

Date 7 March 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
I am more emotionally disabled than I am physically, because it’s my Cerebral Cortex that is extensively damaged. Any neurological disorder will adversely affect normal communication and understanding. I need to continue to adjust both physically and emotionally in my life, there's no way of getting away from that. With…
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An other's story to be told

Date 4 March 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Are we ever happy for another’s story to be told? I’m under no illusion that 'My Story' may never have been told. Throughout my life, my story was out of reach, impossible. I felt demoralised, unhappy, angry and out of touch with myself. All the things you're made to feel…
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A Peaceful and Proactive Place

Date 28 February 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
In a world that is fast changing, it would be easy to feel demoralised, anxious and stressed. Given the rhetoric that’s going on in the world, I turn to my diary. It’s a place where I can read my blogs in my own time. The CP Diary blog Re-reading my…
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Being invisible

Date 24 February 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Although I grew up in an era when children were seen and not heard, those times made it easier for me to become invisible. Why we may become invisible Being invisible usually happens because of an undercurrent, a disparity between how we feel and how something is. Emotionally, it’s easy…
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Our Stories

Date 23 February 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
I feel fortunate to have created a platform where I can use my experiences to talk about my story and that of my experiences. Our stories are our stories, the way we see our lives and that of our experiences. As it can sometimes go, other people’s recollections of your…
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What we see and what we get

Date 20 February 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
In a world that has become more divisive we should be unique, open and honest, but what we see isn’t always what we get. We must also speak our truth, but do that in a way that others will listen, but not be dictated to. What you see with me…
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A parent's job

Date 11 February 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
My job as a parent has always been to get past my own insecurities, but I can’t vouch for my children picking up on other people’s insecurities. My childhood struggles As a child, I struggled with the fact that I didn’t have the support or the guidance to help me…
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My inability to rationale

Date 7 February 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Talking about my struggles with not being able to rationale, is an important blog that I felt compelled to write. Whilst it’s taken me too many years to understand exactly what I continually deal with, I feel that I am getting there. The Frontal Cortex I know that my frontal…
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Wanting to know

Date 4 February 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
It is nothing short of a miracle that I have got to this place pretty much unscathed. I look back on my experiences and my life seems to have been one long struggle. My Diary softens the blow There is no doubt now that my diary has cushioned and softened…
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When other people control

Date 3 February 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
When other people choose to control and make their problems about us, without stopping to question their actions, after a while we may begin to think it’s us. It must be something we’re doing for others to behave in that way. My continued struggles living in the shadows Having lived…
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My different thinking

Date 30 January 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Unfortunately, because my brain is configured differently to that of a normal thinking brain, how I get to see things is back to front, like a rewired plug. That includes any processes that requires forward or normal emotional thinking. I use my intuition to bring my thoughts into a forward-thinking…
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Sleeping without dreams

Date 27 January 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Imagine a black sheet of paper in front of your eyes, with no lights, with no images, with no memories or imagination coming through. That’s what I see when I sleep. With extensive damage to the Cerebral Cortex, the part of the brain that is responsible for dreams, means I…
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