My site

Date 3 April 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
My site continues to prove, how we can daily change the way we view our issues and the world. My site continues to show me that whilst we can all change, we need to want to. My site also continues to show us ways in which we can change our…
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A Good Deed Done

Date 30 March 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Although having a disability has allowed me to see a different side to life, we don’t need to have a disability to understand a different side. We need to want to care. Life is too short to wish we’d done things differently, but we’re often too wrapped up in our…
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Look for the understanding

Date 26 March 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
I wasn’t an easy child, suffice to say I was difficult, but those close to me needed to look at why I struggled. Babies aren’t born with difficult character traits. To be difficult for difficult sake isn’t great, but being difficult because you have no emotional support and you’re trying…
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Holding on to things

Date 24 March 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
We hold on to the things we know we desperately want to happen, even though we know deep down those things will never happen. As a child, I used to do the same thing. An an adult in therapy, I would ask the same questions, but that was met with…
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My late diagnosis

Date 23 March 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Although I was late getting my cerebral palsy diagnosis, I have still had to work through all of my many neurological symptoms, what they mean and how they manifest themselves in me. Even if I had have had my diagnosis as a child, the specialists wouldn’t have understood the neurological…
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Rationale, an understanding

Date 11 March 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Given that everything was done for me when I was a child and I didn’t have to rationale anything, I couldn’t know that I struggled with not being able to rationale. In my childhood, I continually struggled with bad thoughts and had no idea why I could never let go…
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A reflection on my blogs

Date 8 March 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Looking through and going back to read some of my earlier blogs, I didn’t realise how damaged my emotions were at the time I set up and started writing blogs for The CP Diary. When I look back on those blogs, there seems to be a theme running through them.…
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Others' conformity

Date 7 March 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
I am more emotionally disabled than I am physically, because it’s my Cerebral Cortex that is extensively damaged. Any neurological disorder will adversely affect normal communication and understanding. I need to continue to adjust both physically and emotionally in my life, there's no way of getting away from that. With…
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An other's story to be told

Date 4 March 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Are we ever happy for another’s story to be told? I’m under no illusion that 'My Story' may never have been told. Throughout my life, my story was out of reach, impossible. I felt demoralised, unhappy, angry and out of touch with myself. All the things you're made to feel…
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A Peaceful and Proactive Place

Date 28 February 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
In a world that is fast changing, it would be easy to feel demoralised, anxious and stressed. Given the rhetoric that’s going on in the world, I turn to my diary. It’s a place where I can read my blogs in my own time. The CP Diary blog Re-reading my…
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Being invisible

Date 24 February 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Although I grew up in an era when children were seen and not heard, those times made it easier for me to become invisible. Why we may become invisible Being invisible usually happens because of an undercurrent, a disparity between how we feel and how something is. Emotionally, it’s easy…
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Our Stories

Date 23 February 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
I feel fortunate to have created a platform where I can use my experiences to talk about my story and that of my experiences. Our stories are our stories, the way we see our lives and that of our experiences. As it can sometimes go, other people’s recollections of your…
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