The last few months since the lifting of restrictions in the UK has been difficult for me, impossible at times. My mental health has been up and down.

A life at home

There is no getting away from the life I have, the life which is compounded by the fact that I am unable to find a way forward, living with a physical, mental, and emotional disability and being home for the foreseeable.

Not talking about the virus won't make it disappear

But us not talking about the virus won't make it magically disappear. The government ignoring the facts won't make it disappear. Independent scientists ignoring the fact they have a job to do, won't make the virus disappear also.

The vaccines aren’t the panacea vaccine we were told they were initially, and with a compromised immunity, and with no data on how I might fare taking the vaccine, it wasn’t something I was able to reconcile.

Universal truths

While some of the facts I write about may not be popular, they are the ‘universal facts’ which are based on 'our truths,' which if ignored will contribute to hardships, and make our lives more difficult.

Parts of Society have been let down

With lifting restrictions in place, the UK government have let parts of society down. The People who are high risk and vulnerable are ‘hemmed in’ for fear of catching the virus, or people who simply don't want to risk catching the virus.

Drawing comparisons with previous stats

I draw comparisons for people with mental disorders who were institutionalised in the 50’s and 60’s by the UK government, because that is what it feels like. Social media has become a resource, a talking point, for us to talk about how we feel, not only on the pandemic’s handling, but the political landscape and choices that are interfering and affecting us.

The CP Diary

The CP Diary is also a talking point for anyone struggling, or who feel they’re not being listened to. If you're looking for a tool, something tangible, that you can pick up and hold, you can take a look at Spirituality, Healing and Me.' It's a book based on ‘universal understanding.' It's a book that can help shift your thought process. I wouldn't be without it.

If you fancy reading either of my books, you can grab paperback and Kindle copies on Amazon, or through the following link https://linktr.ee/Ilana_Estelle

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “Covid-19, A Life 'Locked-In'”

  1. No, you are not being melodramatic under the current circumstances. People are acting like the virus is going away, but the reality is, it's still out there and not going away.

    My girlfriend is also immunocompromised and becoming borderline agoraphobic because of all this, which isn't right. I have spent a lot of time trying not to focus on my feelings about this, but I definitely need to work on these things.

    It's why I have been having such difficulties sleeping lately. It would be great to be able to travel once again, so that we could finally meet and have a few long conversations about life, the universe and everything.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, what is happening out there doesn't help me or your girlfriend, but it does help us to know, we're not going mad. And until something changes, we're housebound indefinitely.

      The anxiety is defeating, crippling at times and with autism it's impossible sometimes. It's hard to see an end to what we go through. But turning a blind eye on what the pandemic means, or how it might continue, turning a blind eye on mental health, means they will come back.

      My thoughts are with you both. You talk about agoraphobia in the pandemic. I'm hearing you! I know I didn't have claustrophobia until I became permanently locked, well after lockdown restrictions ended. I am in a self-enforced lockdown for my own safety.

      I would love for us to meet one day. Thank you for your on-line support. You're not only helping me, but anyone who reads your response.

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