When I was little, thinking before I spoke wasn’t something I regularly did. It wasn’t because I was wilful, or because I had an opinion, but because I was struggling with something. Through frustration and anger I lashed out.
Perhaps others can relate, but how many of us know that's what we're doing? Do we ever make the conscious connection? If we’ve had a too many bad experiences, or we’re emotionally struggling, we may lash out.
We're not born angry. We must step back and work through why we think we may be angry and how what we say will affect others. Now, when I help or talk to someone in a kind way, it sets me up for the day.
Sadly, as is often the case that when we do change, those around us choose to ignore the fact that we’ve changed. People see what they want to see, or have known. It’s also easier for others to continue to get us into trouble, rather than recognise their own flaws.
I changed but others didn’t. We can all change something in us. It is time for us all to start making a difference. A kind word can change someone's day and make us feel good that we’ve said something kind. Kind words go such a long way.
I have acquired a reputation for not thinking before I speak. I was quite independent from my parents and siblings from an early age and probably didn't really care much about their feelings before I spoke.
Anyway, as an adult I do try to be aware of what I say before I say it and I think relationships are the better for it.
We all acquire something. At least you know and are making those changes. I believe learning is important, because through our learning, we can begin to make changes, so that we can be better people.
I have had to learn this skill with my father. I had to learn patience as well.
Sometimes it is difficult to hold back and not give him a verbal blast but it makes for a more peaceful household.
Usually I will unload when he is not there to get my frustrations out.
Randy you're probably not alone. I think we probably all have or know someone in our life that we have to be careful not to antagonise when we talk to them. It's not that we're particularly at fault with what we say, it's just the way others perceive what we say that gets us into trouble.
If the person we're talking to is laid back and/or easygoing, we're probably less likely to have to stand our guard on how we say things. I believe it makes a difference.
I totally agree with you. I usually think before I say anything and other times I just don't say anything when I should.
I think we've probably done a little bit of this, depending on who we've been trying to speak to. There are people who can make us feel very awkward so usually we're left with not knowing what to say and how to say it, then we kick ourselves for not saying what we feel we should have said!
Thinking before we speak gets us into less trouble.