Have you ever experienced something in your life that has such an impact on how you feel that you spiral into an emotional rut? To be in an emotional rut isn't great because the longer you're in one, the harder it is to get out.

But our earlier experiences, influences of family, childhood experiences and stress in our daily lives can put us into an emotional rut.

So what are emotional ruts?

Emotional ruts are a place where our emotional state is usually driven by the circumstances we find ourselves in, causing us to stagnate into what I would call an unhealthy emotional state of mind, where we constantly look back; can’t always function in the present and where we don’t seem to be able to move forward.

As hard and as impossible as it seems, the way out of any emotional rut is to stop doing the same things over and over again, because it's more than likely that it's those things that got us into the rut in the first place. Assessing our situation and admitting we're struck in a rut are the first signs of recognition and acceptance of where we are.

Of course it’s always helpful to be able to talk to someone about how we feel. It doesn’t have to be a counsellor, as long as there is a friend we can confide in and who is completely trustworthy and that's fine. Sometimes it’s just someone who’s there that can help us see the way forward.

I believe that learning to perceive our life in a different way helps us come out of the rut. When we begin to review our life or aspects of our life that is when we become aware of the changes that need to happen. In effect, when we see things objectively we will see those situations from the outside. It’s at that point we’ll know how and what changes we need to make.

I’m of the belief that because ruts stem from negative situations, they can be reviewed in the same way. As long as we understand that fact, we will come to understand how to make those changes.

Coming out of an emotional rut for me works on the same principles. I know because I’ve done it.