Each life phase is hard. Being a child is hard. Being an adult is hard. Being a parent and parenting small children is hard but their issues are small. It’s not as hard as parenting adult children.

The security we put in place for our children when they’re small, has to change as they grow into adults. It is inevitable that we will be faced with our children wanting to make their own decisions. It’s the uncertainty and the apprehension that comes with them being responsible for themselves, when we have very little say.

I have never bought into the idea that as parents we should control our children. Being a parent isn't about control. I am more than happy to stand back so that my children get to make their own choices. Parents will always be vulnerable and feel apprehensive, as they mentally and emotionally begin to let go.

It’s a selfless act, but one that makes parenting adult children difficult on so many levels. In some cases, it can be very scary.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “Emotionally letting go”

  1. Yes I agree.Parenting adult children is difficult especially when they make the wrong decisions and we really can't say anything about it to them, except let them live their lives the way they see fit.

    But some of us question if we went wrong somewhere when their lives don't turn out to be rosy and they continue to make the wrong decisions.

    My youngest daughter for example was spoiled rotten by mother when she was growing up. She got everything she wanted. Now she is on her own and her life is difficult and she isn't happy. I can't voice my true feelings or it will make her mad.

    She struggles with Bipolar problems and that just adds to all the problems she has. It is difficult seeing her go through this, but I have to just sit back and let her live her life the way she sees fit.

    1. It's hard Lisa of course. Anyone dealing with Bipolar will have more issues to deal with. That in itself isn't easy, but couple that with being spoiled makes it even more difficult because a spoiled child is probably less inclined to listen, because they will always got what they want.

      I think you're right but this is true for all of us as parents. We have to sit back and allow our children to live their lives as they see fit, regardless of what we think.

      I would get to know soon enough if things weren't right. I tend to work with that in mind. That helps.

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