Currently, I am struggling, and I’m not going to lie. My mouth ligament has flared up, which has been sore the last few days.

I’ve never felt pain like it. I’m trying hot and cold therapy, and infrared treatment to try to reduce the pain. I'm feeling rather deflated. I have a dull ache, when trying to eat I have ear, face and jaw pain.

I usually know intuitively how to work around things, but I'm struggling. I'm trying to keep the ligament warm by wearing a mask. I have a mouth guard also. Not because I need one, but it made sense to have one made to help with facial pain.

Everything has to be carefully orchestrated. I struggle with eating and drinking hot, cold is also a problem. Back to hot and cold therapy today. The heat makes it feel better, but the cold treatment reduces the ligament swelling and then I'm back to eating and the problems start again.

Since my twin died there is no doubt life is harder. I never expected to lose her, to deal with these health issues. Hoping to feel better. I need to feel better. I’ve never been in so much pain or felt so poorly.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Flare-up”

  1. You have my sympathy. It’s one of the worst places to feel pain. I once had a mouth infection making eating a painful and unpleasant experience, when it should be a pleasurable one. I hope it calms down soon.

    I’m sure there’s a link between the mental anguish of losing your sister (twin) and the manifestation of physical issues. So sorry for your loss, what a monumental occurrence to process.

    1. Thanks Arthur. My sympathy is with you too for what you went through. I don't think you're right, I know you're right, with a twin it goes deeper and there is a link.

      I went to rest on the bed this morning after breakfast and have just woken up. When I think I'm on top of the pain, the pain reminds me I'm not.

      It's back to acupuncture this afternoon after a 20-day break. Truthfully, it can't come soon enough. I was beginning to feel the benefits before the holiday break.

    1. It's so kind of you to enquire, thanks Arthur. This morning, I'm not feeling as poorly. I have been able to eat without the sensitivity flare up.

      I am feeling very tired. I have a headache, which is slow to go and feeling rather washed out.

      I am grateful for the acupuncture. Thank you for your support.

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