As an animal advocate, I follow an animal guardian on Facebook who rescues animals who, like me, also struggled in school. He also discovered years later: his purpose – rescuing animals, and caring for animals that might not have survived without him.
Following his journey reminds me of my own, I see echoes of my story in his.
Looking back on my childhood, I can’t remember ever feeling naturally good at anything. Even the simplest tasks felt impossible. What I started, I didn’t finish. My twin used to comment, but no matter what I tried, it always seemed harder for me than it was for everyone else.
On top of that, I couldn’t escape reminders of what I later learned were learning disabilities. School was a constant battle, and teachers often pointed out to each other through their deliberations of me, that I wasn’t learning like a “normal” child. Over time, those struggles shaped the limiting beliefs I carried: that I wasn’t good enough. And because nothing was said to the contrary, I believed it.
When people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my father would answer for me and it wasn’t university or a career. It also had nothing to do with my struggles in school that my parents new about, that I didn’t know about — academic struggles that fell by the way side.
But school and reading were my biggest obstacles. I didn’t like or love books, because reading was hard. I’d often get stuck on the same page, rereading it five or six times, trying to absorb the words, so they would stick.
School continued to echo the same learning and reading struggles.
The feelings I had then still resonate now – frustration, isolation, and self doubt – I often stop to question how I made it this far. It’s heavy. But I also know these struggles, the ones that broke me, are the same ones shaping me into the person I am today.
They’ve given me mental strength, and perspective – but that is no excuse for how I got here.
Like the animal guardian – who rescues animals, I’ve learned that our biggest challenges can become the roots of our purpose. For him, it was saving animals, to give them a second chance at life, instead of euthanasia: death. He’s chosen to save them.
For me, it’s writing – The CP Diary became my purpose – it has enabled me to piece my life together, around something I didn’t know I had. Four and a half decades later, to finally start making sense of my own journey, something we all have a right to do from childhood.
One thing I know for both of us: struggling in school and living with learning disabilities doesn’t define our worth. If anything, it has pushed us to find meaning in places others didn’t care about.
