My more personal blogs shape my understanding of who I am. Growing up with something I didn’t have a name for what was difficult. Although I knew things were harder, I didn't know why – I only knew that my experiences didn’t match the people around me.

Without any explanation, I didn’t have the language to talk about it, not even with myself.

I Don't Wish I Were Different

But through all of that – I don't wish I was different. As a child I spent my life simply being who I was, unaware there was any kind of label attached to the way I moved through the world, until I became an adult. I don’t need to change. I am who I am with cerebral palsy and autism.

Others need to understand who I am, how I able to work with myself – and to work with me. 

What People with Disabilities Need Most is Understanding

What I do wish is for understanding, presence, patience, supportive, and having people care. I wish for more gentleness for the parts of me that needed the help, and time to adapt into what I later learned was a disability – instead of continually being ignored, brushed aside and dismissed.

Some things require a different approach, and understanding. I like many others with a mental, emotional and physical disability need to be treat with kid gloves, and to have support. The lack of support shaped the understanding of me growing up.

Instead I ended up having to be my own support.

Learning to Show Up For Myself

As the adult, I show up for myself and I no longer apologise for who I am. I honour the pace I move at – but my life is still on repeat.

Recognising the pattern I often have to circle back but it doesn’t mean I’m stuck in it. Sometimes repetition is the mind circling back to what needs healing – offering us another chance to understand ourselves.

A Call for Understanding

I share this because many people with disabilities – visible or unseen – experience the same lack of understanding and care. We don’t need fixing. We need people –  to like us – to be patient – and compassionate towards us, who are willing to meet us where we are, not where they think we should be.

Understanding can change a life. It would certainly change the feeling of me having to live a life that is always on repeat.