My more personal blogs shape my understanding of who I am. Growing up with something I didn’t have a name for what was difficult. Although I knew things were harder, I didn't know why – I only knew that my experiences didn’t match the people around me.

Without any explanation, I didn’t have the language to talk about it, not even with myself.

I Don't Wish I Were Different

But through all of that – I don't wish I was different. As a child I spent my life simply being who I was, unaware there was any kind of label attached to the way I moved through the world, until I became an adult. I don’t need to change. I am who I am with cerebral palsy and autism.

Others need to understand who I am, how I able to work with myself – and to work with me. 

What People with Disabilities Need Most is Understanding

What I do wish is for understanding, presence, patience, supportive, and having people care. I wish for more gentleness for the parts of me that needed the help, and time to adapt into what I later learned was a disability – instead of continually being ignored, brushed aside and dismissed.

Some things require a different approach, and understanding. I like many others with a mental, emotional and physical disability need to be treat with kid gloves, and to have support. The lack of support shaped the understanding of me growing up.

Instead I ended up having to be my own support.

Learning to Show Up For Myself

As the adult, I show up for myself and I no longer apologise for who I am. I honour the pace I move at – but my life is still on repeat.

Recognising the pattern I often have to circle back but it doesn’t mean I’m stuck in it. Sometimes repetition is the mind circling back to what needs healing – offering us another chance to understand ourselves.

A Call for Understanding

I share this because many people with disabilities – visible or unseen – experience the same lack of understanding and care. We don’t need fixing. We need people –  to like us – to be patient – and compassionate towards us, who are willing to meet us where we are, not where they think we should be.

Understanding can change a life. It would certainly change the feeling of me having to live a life that is always on repeat.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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