"It’s hard not knowing who you are. I didn’t know that growing up with something I didn't know I had was something that would go on to shape every part of me. My physical, mental and emotional struggles were there, but I didn't have a name. My challenges weren't being acknowledged. Disability wasn’t part of the conversation.
The expectations were that I should try harder. I failed. I pushed through the stares, and the opinions. My school reports were difficult to read and I blamed myself, so I tore them up and then felt bad. Now I know that's not on me.
I didn’t know why it was all so hard. All I could see was a bad foot, a bad leg and a left arm that felt weak. No one talked about what was wrong with me, what I had. No one explained why I was different. I grew up oblivious to the fact that what I was dealing with something that made me different. It was real, it was difficult – something that deserved understanding, not ignorance.
I think about the moments I continued to struggle without the support. The times I blamed myself for not being bright enough, or fast enough at grasping things. Playing catch up in school. It’s not easy to look back and see the gaps, what I didn’t know, what others chose to ignore.
The CP Diary is where I'm still piecing it all together. Trying to reconcile my life with the struggles I grew up with. It’s hard, and I’m still learning. I’m learning that my story matters, even if it took years to understand it."
