If like me you believe things happen for a reason and are meant to be then how I was born, my writing and my website were all meant to be.
My lessons were to deal with my anger and to find the tolerance, empathy and compassion that were hidden within me, so that I could be ready and prepared for what was to come.
My website is a tool for each of us that imparts new knowledge and understanding for all of us. Throughout my formative years, the universe was aware of my struggles. The universe understands us long before we’re aware of what our struggles are.
I believe I was being prepared for something bigger that where my anger was a smokescreen for my mental, emotional and physical issues, the universe had already understood and was happy to overlook those indiscretions.
It was also aware that my issues including anger, were never about me and was happy for me to catch up on my understanding of my life.
People do like to say that things happen for a reason, but I'm still unsure about what I really believe myself.
I have a hard time understanding why people like you and my daughter end up with cerebral palsy and what reason there would be for it.
I have had to live with the regret of not doing the right thing for my own daughter, seeing as I should have fought for her and what she needed.
It was one of many lessons that I seemed to have learned the hard way, when I made the mistake of giving people the benefit of the doubt, when I should have known better.
She became just like her mother, which I could have prevented and my life would have been so much different but I made the wrong choice, which will haunt me for the rest of eternity.
Thanks Randy. You've mentioned in one of your responses that what you had to deal with when your daughter was small is the reason, you weren't able to fight for her.
I would try not to beat yourself up because it's not your fault. The only way you could have avoided your daughter being influenced by her mum is if you had the financial and emotional means to take the lion share of her care, but even then you may have still got to the same place.
Any parents input if it's the wrong input will change the way a child sees the other parent, but it's not how it should be because both parents should work together.
You lessons you are learning. You know so much more. From you very first response to your response today, I see a lot of personal growth in you.
Now it must (as it should be for all of us) be for us to put what we've learned into practice.
There is no doubt in my mind that yours are not lessons for you, but for others.
You have been chosen as the vessel for those to learn their lessons; and you certainly wouldn't have been chosen unless you could fulfil the task, which you do daily.
Thank you. I am happy to own and be responsible for my own lessons, but my experiences through my blogs, are not my lessons.
My life may have brought myself to this place with my website, but that was done on the back of neglect and abuse as I see it.