In our early years we can’t know or equate what our parents emotionally deal with or why we get the life we get.

Our experiences affect us

We are only able to filter views through our own prism, we’re not mature enough and that comes with age. But our early experiences can and do affect us deeply. If parents find it difficult to show or give love, that can have an impact on their children.

I've had to work through my own medical records, I've had to piece my experiences together around a disability I didn’t know I had, and in doing so, I now understand my symptoms, my experiences and my life.

Children are not responsible for what they go through

Where parents and people bring different things to our relationship, we get to quantify the parts they play in our lives. It is important children are aware they are not responsible for what they go through, because it can have a bearing on their mental health and it can leave its mark where there is no forgiveness and understanding.

Children's experiences are not about them

And although there may be less understanding on the facts, children need to know their experiences are not about them. It is easy to feel empathy, after all you could have been that child.

It can become slightly more difficult if you ever have a conversation with a parent who makes it crystal clear why you never got the life you were expecting and that parent wasn't the slightest bit remorseful.