My Sensory Processing issues are never far away. We know that sensory process is the way in which the central nervous system of the body receives messages from the senses of the body and uses that information to act in an appropriate motor or behavioural responses.
As a child, I was aware I struggled with something relating to my senses, but sadly for me, it’s only quite recently that I understand more about what the condition is. Although, some of my sensory issues are documented on the site, I am slowly learning more and more about how those issues present and how my Sensory Processing Disorder has helped me make sense of how I am affected day to day.
I know that I don’t process the sensory stimuli from the outside world and will now group my symptoms into behavioural and physical symptoms. Some of what I deal with may be duplicated because behaviour and physical symptoms tend to be inter-linked.
SPD presents me with the following behavioural symptoms:
I also deal with the following physical symptoms of SPD:
Since it’s easy for Sensory Processing Disorder, to go un-diagnosed and left untreated for years, the long-term effects of living with SPD can cause significant impairments in our daily lives, not to mention the stress that goes with it. I behave a certain way because I am tied to my sensory issues and that can't be changed.
Sadly, many healthcare professionals are not trained to recognise the symptoms of the disorder and therefore diagnosis can be delayed for years and may therefore go un-recognised altogether.
My biggest question since I have known you, is how come nobody else picked up on your issues, especially the doctors, for all those years?
It does seem like your parents went well out of their way to avoid telling you what was really going on, since it sounds like they didn't want to deal with it themselves. Just from what I have read here, there are issues that my niece, who has Asperger's, has had to deal with, so they may have diagnosed you with that too,if you had been diagnosed in this day and age.
It would have been so helpful for you to have known what condition you were dealing with as a child and then as an adult, rather than just be forced to adapt and overcome them all on your own!
This definitely wasn't fair for you, considering it wasn't your fault as to the way you were behaving and the issues that you had to struggle with. It sounds like you eventually felt like those issues were just a part of you, when that wasn't the case; but you didn't know any different.
Kind of like how I felt, like my mental health issues were because of something I was doing wrong; considering that's pretty much how I was treated. My dad picked on my mother mercilessly about the way she acted, when it was more because she was highly over medicated and under treated for her mental health issues.
Why would I ever want to admit to my issues when I would have just been treated the same way, like I was doing it on purpose? This is exactly why I started drinking and doing drugs, to self medicate which only made things so much worse!
It would have just been so nice to feel like it was okay to want to be comfortable in my own skin.
Yes, quite Randy. From your ears to those who should have asked the same questions. Neurologically my doctors knew I had brain damage, so they should have asked more questions.
Although I have more understanding of what I deal with, it's even more difficult for me to equate my past up to this point. That I was treated in this way. I'm not sure it's something I will be able to get past. It's a lot of years gone, of neglect. It's a lot to reconcile.
I completely understand your own plight Randy and why you felt you couldn't say anything and why you turned to alternative methods as a means of coping. Sadly, it is a shame your mum was let down by your father, who should have tried to help her, or at least get help for her; so she could heal and so that she could begin to help you too.
There is no excuse for anyone ignoring mental health issues, particularly when it comes to children. I absolutely agree with you. It would have been so nice to feel like it was okay to be comfortable in your own skin.
I know you have already started the process Randy, but it's important to continue to try to work on the process of feeling more comfortable in your own skin.
It's good that you're learning more about your sensory issues, but it's a shame you've had to do it all by yourself.
I am pleased your blogs enable you to bring more closure on what you've had to deal with.
Thank you. Yes, my blog has been my life line to everything I didn't know about my life and what I had to deal with as a child. I would like to bring about closure on what I've had to deal with.
I will continue to work on that.